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Archive for the ‘Reflection’ Category

“A” is for Adoption

18 Apr

249846_10151297629455758_117341435_nOn our anniversary this year, I sat across from my husband of five years, looked him in the eye and said, “When we married, did you ever imagine we would have a “yours, mine and ours”?” To which he confessed that he did not, but also admitting that it was one of the most blessed decisions he has ever made.

Adoption seems to have become somewhat of an epidemic in my family—quite by accidental intention. My youngest brother and sister-in-law have been foster parents for years and now have a sibling group in their care that will likely become their forever family. My middle brother and I have supported their commission along the way, never realizing that God was beginning to direct our hearts in the same direction.

Marc (my middle brother) and his family welcomed Ru into their family and into all of our hearts, this past year through an overseas adoption. If you haven’t had the blessing of following Ru’s journey, you can do so HERE. The fact that Marc and Sandra’s decision to adopt Ru and our decision to adopt Brandon coincided is, in my opinion, by divine providence (this is another story for later).

Neither Kent nor I will ever forget the Sunday we first heard our son’s name spoken for the first time. We had no idea that from that utterance, God immediately began creating a bond in our hearts perfectly weaving His radical plan with our uncompromising obedience. Much as taken place since that day, but I can say with great assurance that I knew from the first time I heard his name that Brandon was going to be our son and we were going to be his forever family.

We began praying months before we actually met Brandon. It was Super Bowl Sunday 2012 that Brandon was first introduced to our family. Scared, alone and with little comprehension as to what was happening to him, Brandon timidly entered our lives and our hearts. Empowered by faith and great tenacity (little did we know that would be enough), we began living as a family.

God’s eternal blueprint for adopting us as sons and daughters is the heart of our earthly adoption of Brandon. Though I don’t believe every Christian is called to actually adopt an orphan, I do believe it is every Christian’s responsibility to support the mission of adoption in some manner. It is our birthright as God’s adopted sons and daughters.

Galatians 4:4-6 – But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.”

Adoption is Timely – Just as God adopted us in the “right time”, so do adoptive families. It was in the “right time” that Brandon needed a family and the “right time” our family was ready to embrace him. God had prepared both of our hearts (predestined if you will) to accept the challenges and the blessing found in obedience.

Adoption is Costly – Our adoption by God was gained at tremendous cost. He paid the ultimate price by sacrificing his only son so that we would have the privilege to call Him “Abba Father”. Earthly adoption is also costly. Not only is there an immense financial cost in most adoptions, but an equal (if not greater) emotional cost, as well as a high expenditure of time and stress. Fortunately, coupled with great cost is that of greater reward.

Adoption is Unconditional – No where in this scripture does it state that we are God’s children only if we look a certain way, or until we mess up, or if we are acceptable to him. Adoption by God is unconditional. I can’t tell you how many times under oath we had to answer yes to the question, “Do you understand by adopting this child he has the same rights to inheritance as your biological children and that by adopting him he is a full member of our family?” – unconditionally without prejudice.  I think that’s why, when people ask me if Brandon is my “real” son, I get a little offended (as insulted as I can get anyway). My answer is always “YES, he is my son – unconditionally”. As I call my heavenly Father, “Abba”—Brandon calls us mom and dad. As God calls me his daughter, so I call Brandon my son.

Adoption is Transformational – No one, adopted by God, remains the same afterwards. His Spirit transforms us. We think differently, act differently, our potential to love grows; we are redefined. I have found our adoption of Brandon to be transformational as well. We are not the same family—we are not the same as individuals. Our roles have changed; values clarified and spiritual walk strengthened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted in Adoption, Christianity, Happiness, Intentional Living, Reflection, Slice of Life, Spiritual life

 

An Ordinary Life

14 Apr

encyclopediaRecently, I began reading Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. I did not choose to read this gem through my customary means: a friend did not recommend it and I had not read any book reviews pointing me to it’s value. I am an avid reader of contemporary writing teachers, Jim Burke, Nancy Atwell, Ralph Fletcher, Jeff Anderson and one of my favorites, Kelly Gallagher. It was while reading his newest book, Write Like This: Teaching Real World Writing through Modeling and Mentored Texts that I was introduced to Rosenthal’s writing. Gallagher’s pedagogy emphasizes the necessity of teaching students “real world writing” as apposed to “standard driven” instruction. He surmises that it is through modeling good writing and carefully examining superior writing, that accomplished writers are created (which is the goal of any writing teacher worth his/her salt).

Galagher introduces Rosenthat’s book as mentor text for students to practice  the “express and reflect” purpose of writing. In Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, Rosenthal uses the highly unorthodox encyclopedia format to compose her memoirs. She shares her lifetime remembrances alphabetically, composed in a standard encyclopedia entry. This idea fascinated me: to chronicle one’s life story through the alphabet seemed worthy of exploration. So, I downloaded the book and began reading.

The bond I have generated with Rosenthal’s writing was nurtured early in her book as she provides a disclaimer, of sorts, in the forward of her memoir. Rosenthal candidly admits that she was not “abused, abandoned or locked up as a child”. She did not live “in poverty or in misery” and that she is really quite ordinary. I, too, fall into the somewhat average category. My parents were great parents, I did fairly well in school, I was never beaten or neglected. Sadly, I didn’t even live up to the reputation most PK’s (preacher’s kid) have, for I have sinned far more as an adult than I ever did growing up in a parsonage. My one admission to living the extraordinary would be in facing the unexpected, and far too early, death of my husband after 24 years of marriage.

This past year, I have so neglected my writing that I longed for something to kindle the lost fire. So, I have made the decision to give Rosenthal’s idea a try. It is time to reenter the blogosphere.  For the next few months (my resolve ends with a timetable), I will attempt to capture and recollect the mostly mundane, but hopefully entertaining, quips, neurosis, snapshots and vignettes that have made up my 50 years on the earth.

This is my story.

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Posted in Blogging, Intentional Living, Reflection, Slice of Life, Teaching, Writing

 

Just Ask Mary

16 Dec

Here is the Advent devotional I wrote for my church’s series this Christmas season.

Luke 2:19seward_-_mary_&_baby_jesus
“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
Devotional:
I have experienced the joy of giving birth twice. I remember every nuance of the nine months and delivery—every smell, every sound, every person who shared in the great event. I remember listening for the first breath coming from my child; counting his fingers and toes, and holding onto each moment as a special memory. Even though these memories are over twenty years old, I have treasured them in my heart and mind, never to be forgotten.

I can’t imagine the whirlwind life Mary had experienced up to this point. First, an angel told her she would give birth to the Son of God, and then she became pregnant-shamed that she was not married. Next, Joseph, who had to be overwhelmed with the prospect, obediently took Mary as his wife and while traveling to Bethlehem Mary gave birth in less-than-desirable conditions. This scripture finds Mary in a stable swaddling the Son of God and yet she was like any other mother. She cherished every moment and contemplated what had happened to her from the time the angel appeared until the birth of Our Lord. She treasured these memories as her story.

It is comforting to know that Mary had normal, human thoughts and emotions. But if you think about it, she was just an ordinary person commissioned by God for an extraordinary purpose. We are no different. We must take the time to contemplate our life circumstances, especially those that have strengthened our faith. Some life events are joyous, some sad, others bewildering but all jointly create our story. A story where God has taught us, guided us, and continues to remind us that it is He who creates the extraordinary from the ordinary. Just ask Mary.

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Posted in Christianity, Family, Happiness, Intentional Living, Reflection, Slice of Life, Spiritual life

 

Brokenness Restored

01 Nov

I went through the early years of my childhood needing stitches every six months, but no broken bones. When kids would come to school with casts on their arm or leg; I thought it was a bit glamorous. They seemed to get preferential treatment; lots of attention—heck, they got to go to lunch early. Even now, at the middle school where I teach, students are given the “key” to the elusive elevator if a leg, ankle or knee is out of commission. Glamorous, right?

It took me 50 years to experience a broken bone, however there was nothing glamorous when my ankle twisted under my body as I hit the ground at the bottom of the stairs. As is often the case, my mind was somewhere else while descending the stairs in my home. I was sure my foot was grounded on the final step, but I was wrong. I tumbled, albeit gracefully, and ended up in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. Knowing instantly life was not going to be the same for the next few months, I attempted to arise from my fallen state.

After a thrilling few hours at the local emergency room, my greatest fear was confirmed. Along with my pride, my fibula was broken. After a short crutch tutorial, I was on my own to amble about with this most awkward form of transport. Let’s just say I was cursing myself for not beginning that weight bearing, upper-body workout I had intended to start months ago. Maneuvering the crutches seemed not only impossible for my weak body, but a huge blow to my ego. I thought to myself, “How can I possibly live this way for eight weeks?” With leg wrapped in a splint, crutches in hand and a Monday morning appointment to the orthopedic surgeon, I headed home.

Upon arriving home feeling bit overwhelmed, I did the only thing a socially connected 21st century gal could do.  I posted by misfortune on Facebook. Immediately folks began to reply to my veiled plea for sympathy, reassurance and commiseration. Within a few moments, a post caught my attention-one that was sure to alter my crushed spirit. A friend stated that when she had broken her ankle the doctor had prescribed a knee scooter. Knee scooter? I had never heard of such a thing, but even the thought made me smile. With urgency, I sent out a plea to anyone who might have one of these magical vehicles that I could try for a few days. Within minutes, a neighbor messaged that she had one for me to borrow. Eureka!

As soon as the scooter was delivered and I placed my leg with its pathetic-booted ankle on the seat, I began to feel a sense of liberation. With one knee up on the scooter I could maneuver around the house at a speed rivaling Mario Andretti. Suddenly, my world opened up again. The possibilities were unlimited, and my condition did not seem as bleak. Freedom was restored along with something I had lost along the way—dignity tempered with hope.

I know the journey of the next few weeks will not be easy. I know that I will have days of discouragement mixed with days of great accomplishment. What creates confidence that my situation is not quite as dire as I first anticipated, is my ability to acquire the tool paramount to making my day easier—one that will afford me opportunities to “scoot” along this path of recovery with a bit more ease and confidence.

I have been up and down the stairs in my home a million times. I know the rhythmic pattern to each step: the rise of each rung and the cadence by which I can progress up and down effortlessly, even in the dark. Yet this one time I became distracted, and totally missed the mark. It wasn’t on purpose—I just wasn’t paying attention.

This staircase, connecting the floors in my home, is not that much different than life. We live our lives day after day with a sense of security. Our journey becomes familiar and we become experts in the voyage, then one day, we become distracted; we aren’t paying attention. Something happens that totally rocks the world we are so acquainted with, and the life we have maneuvered so well for so long is suddenly shattered. We begin to feel hopeless, discouraged, and sometimes despondent. What we fail to realize, is that within our desperation—God is the “life scooter” we need to maneuver through our recovery. The God of the universe reminds us that true liberation and freedom comes only through him, and by leaning totally on His strength we can begin to heal, restore and be fully renewed.

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Posted in Christianity, Intentional Living, Reflection, Slice of Life, Spiritual life

 

On Honoring the Sabbath

23 Sep

Today is Sunday, September 16, 2012—the Sabbath for Christians.  Over the past few months, I have tried to live more deliberately—at least where the Sabbath is concerned. While my desire is to live more “intentionally”, I don’t want to be trapped by “legalism”, so I have tried to remove myself from electronics for this one day of the week—at least from “sundown to sundown”: in order to be more present in my worship. I still have dedicated time to read and write on the this day; I just don’t have the distraction of my phone, iPad or computer.

Another change I have made is that I make every attempt to plan the Sabbath before the day arrives. This is, in fact, very liberating. I no longer find myself wondering, during the Sunday morning service, where we will eat or what we will eat—it has already been determined; most likely around the family table—something that is rare at our home these days.

Finding words to express how these purposeful actions have transformed our family—is not possible. Every week I feel more connected and immersed in the lives of my kids and my husband, because of sharing one “intentional” meal together. We laugh, connect, support and hold each other accountable at the same time.

Often we share the Sabbath table with friends and family, most often buddies of the kids and my nephew, Eric. Their friends are eager (if not forced) accomplices in our time together. Not speaking for them, but I think there is a certain harmoneous connection when the day is shared.

Additionally, we have found that simple rituals, such as lighting special “Sabbath” candles, create a climate of honor. We understand that these rituals have no significant “magical” qualities, but are gentle reminders that God IS the light of the world and that our lives reflect His love.  Sharing our Sabbath meal is meant to be a time to impart blessings and embrace thankfulness.

When evaluating the many changes our family has made over the past six months, this is one that, I believe, is of most value. Living intentionally has meant making choices “on purpose”; making choices that create a more meaningful life for our family. My challenge to you is to look at your week and find a place for a “Shabbat”  for your family—a time to rest, rejuvenate and recharge.

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Posted in Christianity, Intentional Living, Reflection, Slice of Life, Spiritual life, Theology

 

On Turning 50

02 Sep

Since turning 50 on July 30, 2012, I have started to write at least four posts with the intention of reflecting on the experience. None of them quite “hit the mark”. This past week, my 6th grade students and I closely read the poem “On Turning 10″ by one of my favorite poets, Billy Collins. So as a tribute to him, as a mentor text to my students and as a celebration of turning 50–here are my thoughts…

 

On Turning 50*

The whole idea makes me feel like I’m riding a jolting roller-coaster spiraling down the rails
or the rush of wind as it hits
my face and is suddenly gone,
a kind of haunting at sunrise
a spring in the middle of winter.
I know it is time to think of looking back,
but I know it’s too soon.
The dance is not yet
in it’s final moments.
But I find myself doing so
just the same.

At the dawn of adolescence
I reached for life
I dreamed.
At 20 I was newly married, at
30 a mother
At 40 experienced loss,
a solemn darkness
to overcome.

But now I am mostly dividing
my thoughts
Some yearning for what is in the past knowing the sum of life’s story somehow equates gratification. This is the beginning of life
in some sense.
Time to say good-bye to regrets and guilt.
Time to embrace the next chapter.
It seems only yesterday I believed that
life was boundless,
limitless
But now reflecting,
I know
it’s simply
splendid. I exhale.

*Inspired by On Turning Ten by Billy Collin

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Posted in Aging, Intentional Living, Reflection, Slice of Life, Writing

 

Living Intentionally Through the Drought

20 Jul

Central Illinois is experiencing one of the most devastating droughts I can remember. Crops are in ruins, bodies of water are dried up and our neighborhood looks more like the dessert than the customary green of summer. We diligently examine the DOPLAR radar praying that today will be the day we will receive the respite we so desperately need. On the rare occasion we actually are blessed with moisture, it has simply been a tease of a few drops. Then no amount of anticipation has caused any more liquid to fall from the sky.

It dawned on me this morning that intentionally living is much easier when things are going well—when finances are stable; when there are no major life stressors; when I am not so stressed. I call these the “non-drought” times of life. During these times it is easy to praise God, pray, read the Bible and connect with the body of Christ. However, that is not how God intended us to live, nor is it His plan for our lives. He wants us to live a full life–an intentional life in every circumstance, during every season. In John 10:10 Jesus says, “I came that (you) may have life, and have it abundantly.”

Just as the earth experiences drought, when we experience a “drought” season life can become colorless. We are often less effective, and tend to allow soul-things to become dormant or even die. Prayer becomes more difficult, reading scriptures non-existent and then there is the human tendency to disengage from the body of Christ that has been our very breathe of life. How foolish we can be sometimes!

With Kent still out of a job, summer coming to a close without much accomplished, and my heart heavy with unfinished life decisions, I can feel a drought coming on. I have some lame excuses, like I haven’t had the time or it’s been too hot or the kids are staying with us a month longer than I expected, but these are just that – excuses.

I am finding that it is within the “drought” that intentionally living is truly tested. Now is the time to “on purpose” choose to carve out time to spend in the Word and in prayer. Now is the time to make the effort to connect with those folks in my life that offer spiritual guidance and challenge. Now is the time to intentionally choose not to allow the affects of drought to cause spiritual dormancy.

Is it really possible to live abundantly through the “drought”?  Scripturally everything points back to intentionally living. It means facing each day with conscious determination; knowing that today has purpose, today has promise, and that today I will again choose life.

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Posted in Christianity, Intentional Living, Prayer, Reflection, Spiritual life, Theology

 

Why I Am (Still) a Christian*

17 Jul

Recently, I read an article  by Lauren F. Winner in Relevant Magazine called, Why I Am (Still) a Christian. She explores the premise that folks are often interested in our “conversion story” when, in fact, most of our faith literature actually explores the “middle of our faith lives”. When we read Henri Nouwen, Anne Lamont or even CS Lewis we read to understand their spiritual struggles and insights after conversion. It is their “middle story” that grips our heart. This article made me think of my own “middle story” and why I am still a Christian today.

I am still a Christian because somewhere along this journey the God of my heritage became the God of my personage.

I am still a Christian because in the absolute darkest moment of my life, God’s Word (Deuteronomy 30:19-20) challenged me to “choose life” instead of caving into my own selfish need for pity.

I am still a Christian because when life is broken, when I fail greatly at “being Jesus” to the world, when I am hypocritical and judgmental, when I sin against a fellow human being, there is a nagging in my heart until restitution is made and forgiveness petitioned. Because through Romans 12 – Love in Action – God has defined what leads us to find happiness in this life.

I am a Christian because my choice to live intentionally means nothing outside of what God can accomplish. It is an exciting and joyous journey. Through Christ, I can find hope and meaning–strength and courage–wisdom and solace.

(Borrowing from Ms Winner’s style) I am still a Christian because when I sing “It is Well with My Soul” the words always tell the truth–if not from the beginning of the song–by the end.

Why are you still a Christian? What is your “middle story”?

*http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/worldview/why-i-am-still-christian

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Posted in Christianity, Happiness, Intentional Living, Reflection, Slice of Life, Spiritual life, Theology

 

The Journey of a Thousand Steps

05 Jul

There has been much talk within our family lately about when the seed of “adoption” was planted in our lives? In our feeble attempts to pinpoint the genesis of our journey, several scenarios have been explored. While organizing some of my blog post for a possible book, I came across this post from February 9, 2008. I may have pinpointed my “genesis” and as is said, the journey of a thousand steps began.

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Today’s Lenten devotion was take from Isaiah 58:5-12. I really thought I was doing this right—the Lent thing that is! I had the right motives; I chose to “give up” something that was difficult for me to do without. But low and behold, Isaiah calls me to a different fast, one that requires a bit more consideration. (vs 6-7)

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

What is my role, as a Christian in social consciousness? My son just wrote a paper about young people and their tendency to be so self- absorbed that the social injustices of the world don’t seem to be of much concern to them. Well, after today’s devotion I have found the need for my own self-reflection in this area.

I have believed that as long as I didn’t knowingly purchase items known to be harmful to the environment or shop at places that are less than fair to their employees I was being socially responsible, but what if that isn’t true? What if, as a Christian, it is my responsibility to place a portion of my energy into “loosing the chains of injustice” in a more significant way and if so, how is this accomplished?

Perhaps it isn’t enough to simply recycle or give to “Feed the Children”. Maybe I am called to genuine action—to become aware of social injustices and do my part to bring them to an end. I don’t mean carrying picket signs or radical action (unless I am lead to do so), but taking small steps to bring social consciousness into my life.

Taking that first step, for me, begins with education. You can’t take a step, if you don’t have a clue where to go. I often view organizations like Greenpeace as being too radical. But God has given me a brain and a fair amount of discernment, so I could examine the information these types of organizations publish, do some research, pray and unearth (on my own) significant ways that I can take the first steps to fasting differently.

My views need to become more global and yet; on the other hand, my eyes and heart must become more attuned to the social ills right here—in my own community. After all, a journey of a thousand miles truly does begin with a single step.

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Posted in Adoption, Christianity, Intentional Living, Missions, Reflection, Slice of Life, Theology

 

Tenaciousness

12 Jun

Tenacious adj. – stubbornly unyielding

Tenaciously adv. – with obstinate determination

Tenaciousness noun. – Persistent determination

I have noticed that the word tenacious and forms of this word have eked into my vocabulary these past few weeks watching my family meet life challenges head on. I am taking this moment to reflect on authentic examples of tenacious living, so that I may be challenged to step up and live–more tenaciously.

Chad and Joy have decided that now is the time in their lives to follow a dream and move to New York City in pursuit of their aspirations. Many things had to happen to make this move possible. The biggest being that Chad needed to sell his car in order to have rent money for a year. They both had to quit their jobs, figure out what they can move and what needs to be sold. Chad had to walk away from a lucrative recording business he began over a year ago. Yet, their tenacity amazes me. They are committed to “persistent determination” in making this move. As a result, things are moving forward. Chad sold his car last week…and they are moving forward.

Chandler is my laid back child. If folks were asked for adjectives to describe him, tenacious would probably not come to mind–but that is because they don’t “really” know him. He often appears apathetic, when in fact, he cares greatly. His life revolves around…football. Following last season, he decided that he would pursue football tenaciously. He began training more than ever and actively sought the title of “lifter of the month”. He missed this in April by 5 pounds, but reached it in May. Now, he spends his time preparing his mind and body to train and is in full anticipation for the season to begin in the fall. He is “all in”.

Brandon embodies tenacity. If there is a skill or competency that he feels he hasn’t mastered, he meets it with great determination. Swimming is a great example. After hearing that, when the boys go to camp at the end of the month, the most exciting activity is cliff jumping, Brandon realized his swimming skills could use some honing. We have since been to my brother’s pool on several occasions. Brandon has spent HOURS swimming back and forth in my brother’s pool. I have winced on more than one occasion–ready to jump in to save him, but EVERY time he pokes his head out of the water with a smile on his face. He can now swim with confidence.

Perhaps the greatest example of tenacity is my brother Marc and sister-in-law Sandra. They embarked on this adoption journey around the same time as our family decided the same. They are in the midst of adopting a special needs child from China. When they made their decision to proceed with adoption, their social worker told them that IF they were in China within a year, that would be “normal”. If they ended up bringing their daughter home in December, it would be a miracle. Perhaps their agency was not familiar with the Abla “tenacity”. These two have completed in 5 months the work of most in 12. Their dossier is in China as I write this blog–something that shouldn’t even be — until the fall. Talk about “obstinate determination”

Often, the obstacle to achieving our aspiration or dream is — tenacity. What are you missing because you are not “stubbornly unyielding” or are without “persistent determination”? I have asked myself this question tonight. It is with tenacity I face–tomorrow…

“I know your persistence, your courage in my cause, that you never wear out.”  Revelation 2:3 (The Message)

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Posted in Adoption, Christianity, Family, Happiness, Intentional Living, Life with a teenager, Reflection, Slice of Life

 
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