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Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

B – Brothers

20 Apr

brothersI don’t believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at. ~Maya Angelou

(revised and reposted from February 2009 @ Breathings of the Heart.com)

I am not sure what I thought my relationship would be with my brothers at this point in my life, but I never dreamed it would be as it is. We are seven years apart which means that I am 14 years older than my youngest brother. Growing up I had little to do with my middle brother, and being so much older I was more maternal to my youngest brother (considering the countless hours of babysitting). With seven years between us, we grew up as three siblings – each an only child. Fast forward to 2013. We are all adults (at least by age). We each have distinct personalities and have become great friends. It is quite amazing, even surprising.

We are shared characters in a myriad of “growing up” stories. Of Marc, I remember that he spent much of his time alone in his bedroom playing with Legos. Once, I blamed him for pushing me over causing stitches; a lie which to this day he has difficulty forgiving. Evan was the baby, but in order to coax him to behave I would scare him into thinking the police would come take him away if he didn’t do exactly as I wished. Funny thing is – it worked. I haven’t tried it recently, but have great doubts he would be as gullible now.

As Maya Angelou so eloquently penned, “brotherhood is a condition people have to work at” and we have. We are three unique people. Marc is pragmatic, Evan idealistic and me – somewhere in between.  As in any relationship we have made many concessions, overlooked little annoyances (sometimes BIG ones), and continually committed to strengthening our bond.

I often wonder what makes my relationship with my brothers so extraordinary (notice I did not say “perfect”). I can only surmise it can be traced back to our parents and the principles to which they believe children should be raised. Having a strong sense self, cultivating an ability to articulate your views, loving people for who they are and a strong commitment to God were the foundation of our upbringing.

These tenets are now the cornerstone of the relationship between my brothers and me. It is through these principles that we are able to disagree, encourage, irritate and hold each other accountable. Laughter, sarcasm, along with deep theological and moral discussions often clutter our conversations. It isn’t that we always agree, to the contrary, we often disagree, at times are disrespectful and inadvertently hurt the other (although NONE of us would admit to this – being hurt that is), but there has never been a time where we have allowed anything to sever our bond.

Some say a sister’s bond is extraordinary, but I say give me brothers any day.

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Posted in Aging, Family, Intentional Living, Slice of Life, Spiritual life

 

Just Ask Mary

16 Dec

Here is the Advent devotional I wrote for my church’s series this Christmas season.

Luke 2:19seward_-_mary_&_baby_jesus
“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
Devotional:
I have experienced the joy of giving birth twice. I remember every nuance of the nine months and delivery—every smell, every sound, every person who shared in the great event. I remember listening for the first breath coming from my child; counting his fingers and toes, and holding onto each moment as a special memory. Even though these memories are over twenty years old, I have treasured them in my heart and mind, never to be forgotten.

I can’t imagine the whirlwind life Mary had experienced up to this point. First, an angel told her she would give birth to the Son of God, and then she became pregnant-shamed that she was not married. Next, Joseph, who had to be overwhelmed with the prospect, obediently took Mary as his wife and while traveling to Bethlehem Mary gave birth in less-than-desirable conditions. This scripture finds Mary in a stable swaddling the Son of God and yet she was like any other mother. She cherished every moment and contemplated what had happened to her from the time the angel appeared until the birth of Our Lord. She treasured these memories as her story.

It is comforting to know that Mary had normal, human thoughts and emotions. But if you think about it, she was just an ordinary person commissioned by God for an extraordinary purpose. We are no different. We must take the time to contemplate our life circumstances, especially those that have strengthened our faith. Some life events are joyous, some sad, others bewildering but all jointly create our story. A story where God has taught us, guided us, and continues to remind us that it is He who creates the extraordinary from the ordinary. Just ask Mary.

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Posted in Christianity, Family, Happiness, Intentional Living, Reflection, Slice of Life, Spiritual life

 

Tenaciousness

12 Jun

Tenacious adj. – stubbornly unyielding

Tenaciously adv. – with obstinate determination

Tenaciousness noun. – Persistent determination

I have noticed that the word tenacious and forms of this word have eked into my vocabulary these past few weeks watching my family meet life challenges head on. I am taking this moment to reflect on authentic examples of tenacious living, so that I may be challenged to step up and live–more tenaciously.

Chad and Joy have decided that now is the time in their lives to follow a dream and move to New York City in pursuit of their aspirations. Many things had to happen to make this move possible. The biggest being that Chad needed to sell his car in order to have rent money for a year. They both had to quit their jobs, figure out what they can move and what needs to be sold. Chad had to walk away from a lucrative recording business he began over a year ago. Yet, their tenacity amazes me. They are committed to “persistent determination” in making this move. As a result, things are moving forward. Chad sold his car last week…and they are moving forward.

Chandler is my laid back child. If folks were asked for adjectives to describe him, tenacious would probably not come to mind–but that is because they don’t “really” know him. He often appears apathetic, when in fact, he cares greatly. His life revolves around…football. Following last season, he decided that he would pursue football tenaciously. He began training more than ever and actively sought the title of “lifter of the month”. He missed this in April by 5 pounds, but reached it in May. Now, he spends his time preparing his mind and body to train and is in full anticipation for the season to begin in the fall. He is “all in”.

Brandon embodies tenacity. If there is a skill or competency that he feels he hasn’t mastered, he meets it with great determination. Swimming is a great example. After hearing that, when the boys go to camp at the end of the month, the most exciting activity is cliff jumping, Brandon realized his swimming skills could use some honing. We have since been to my brother’s pool on several occasions. Brandon has spent HOURS swimming back and forth in my brother’s pool. I have winced on more than one occasion–ready to jump in to save him, but EVERY time he pokes his head out of the water with a smile on his face. He can now swim with confidence.

Perhaps the greatest example of tenacity is my brother Marc and sister-in-law Sandra. They embarked on this adoption journey around the same time as our family decided the same. They are in the midst of adopting a special needs child from China. When they made their decision to proceed with adoption, their social worker told them that IF they were in China within a year, that would be “normal”. If they ended up bringing their daughter home in December, it would be a miracle. Perhaps their agency was not familiar with the Abla “tenacity”. These two have completed in 5 months the work of most in 12. Their dossier is in China as I write this blog–something that shouldn’t even be — until the fall. Talk about “obstinate determination”

Often, the obstacle to achieving our aspiration or dream is — tenacity. What are you missing because you are not “stubbornly unyielding” or are without “persistent determination”? I have asked myself this question tonight. It is with tenacity I face–tomorrow…

“I know your persistence, your courage in my cause, that you never wear out.”  Revelation 2:3 (The Message)

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Posted in Adoption, Christianity, Family, Happiness, Intentional Living, Life with a teenager, Reflection, Slice of Life

 

His Eyes*

25 Feb

In his eyes lies bravery beyond  

The years that mark his birth.

Masking vulnerability, 

Ripping at his courage.

The window into his soul,

Blown wide open by means of

Powerless

Circumstances 

 

Hovering between child innocence 

And adult guilt

He tentatively moves forward

Unaware of the hope

Lurking in the midst of

Pivotal 

Circumstances

 

His optimism longs to

Bridge the chasm between

History and this moment

To remain well traveled

A triumphant pilgrimage through

Purposeful

Circumstances

*I am always encouraging my students to publish their poetry without requiring the same of myself. Normally this type of poetry would be private – instead I am taking a page from my own “playbook” and sharing it with you.

 

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Posted in Adoption, Family, Reflection, Slice of Life

 

Up for Another Challenge!

10 Jan

I am going to try this Photo-a-Day challenge I stumbled across on Amanda’s and Alicia’s blogs. I have tried the Project 365, but knowing my inability to sustain long term projects, I am certain 31 days is doable for me. I am starting 9 days late, but figure it’s just a reflection of my rebellious nature. What I am hoping is that this exercise will be the springboard to jumpstart a more disciplined writing regime.

Let the experiment begin–

DAY ONE -YOU!

This is the way you can find me most days after work. Once I get home, I love putting on sweats and a comfy sweatshirt (Nebraska of course) to begin my second job of mom and wife.

Lately, when I look into the mirror, my mother stares back at me. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, however, it takes me by surprise when I recognize my mother’s features in my face or my mother’s mannerisms as my own.

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Posted in Aging, Blogging, Family, Meme, Photography, Reflection, Slice of Life, Writing

 

He Will Give Us Peace

21 Apr

“I wonder too..if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that punc ture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see,
To see through to God.
That which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him.”     -One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp-

Revisiting my personal grief has been difficult. With the unexpected loss of a dear friend this weekend, the wound was broken open and heartbreak oozed from the hurt–another “rent in the canvas” of life.

I am not sure that I believe God causes or even allows tragedy to occur. I am more convinced that because we live in a fallen world, we experience all of life-the blessings along with the tragedy. As humans we tend to want pat answers. Why did God allow this to happen? Where is God? Why didn’t he “show up”?* What I am sure of, is that God IS here when we hurt–he hurts with us. He is here when we can’t breathe–to breathe for us and he is here when we cry out in utter despair–to give us peace.

 

* Check out my brother Evan’s, awesome sermon on Lazarus: http://www.bcnazarene.com/index.php?option=com_wrapper&view=wrapper&Itemid=640

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Posted in Christianity, Family, Grief, Reflection, Spiritual life

 

Chanman is Drivin’ Part II

04 Apr

Mom: (knuckles red from holding onto the arm rest)

Chanman: Seriously mom, I would rather drive with Kent.

Mom: Yeah, I would rather you drive with Kent as well.

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Posted in Family, Slice of Life

 

A Global Perspective at Christmas

30 Dec

My brother, Evan has always been the global thinker in our family. He has his finger on the pulse of those less fortunate both in his neighborhood and abroad. He is a children’s pastor who leads the kids under his influence to take action globally, especially in Uganda. Through a variety of activities, his children have become personally connected to the plight of the poor in Uganda. More than that, they are “learning to do good” while developing a global perspective. What a gift!

It was no surprise that Evan introduced the idea of “micro-financing to end poverty” to my brother Marc several months ago. I only have to hear “micro-” and my eyes begin to glaze over and by the time I hear “financing” I am totally checked out, but I will try to explain it in “Marsha-ese”. Micro-financing is LENDING funds to the rural poor in developing countries, usually in the form a small loans (smaller than banks are interested in loaning). This is often the only way they would be able to establish or maintain a business that has the ability to lift themselves out of poverty. Loans are repaid and can then be re-loaned to other individuals. The concept is quite amazing, and has real potential to put a major dent in extreme poverty.

Marc began to research this concept and came across an organization that actually connects people, through lending, for the sake of alleviating extreme poverty. Kiva is “the world’s first person-to-person micro-lending website, empowering individuals to lend to unique entrepreneurs around the globe”. If you want more information check out the about page on Kiva’s website (the video is great). About Kiva.

This Christmas, the Abla side of our family decided that we would take the amount of money normally spent on gifts for each other and instead invest at Kiva. So, last night all 12 of us, kids included, squeezed into our family room, sat around the Christmas tree began to invest in real people around the world.

Creating our family account was an ordeal in itself. What would we call our group? You can only imagine the suggestions with the names Cuttill Roat Abla Price (no, we did not select CRAP as our Kiva name, but you know it was discussed. Check us out anyway at Cuttill Roat Abla Price ). With the family photo snapped and uploaded, we only had one more step to complete our profile. We had to finish the statement, “I loan because…”. I don’t think any of us had actually thought much about why, but our answer came when Evan recited Isaiah 1:17 “Learn to do good: Seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.” This scripture became our hymn, as well as our Kiva group slogan. We invite all to join this group at Isaiah 1:17

Once our family account was initiated, we pressed the much anticipated “lend” button on the site. Waiting anxiously for the multitude of needy folks to pop up, we became instantly disappointed when we found NO loans were available to be funded! WHAT? We waited and waited—still—none. Then, all of a sudden, one profile came available. In unison we yelled at the computer operator “CHOSE THAT ONE! CHOSE THAT ONE!” and that’s how Jhudy, a small grocery owner from Peru, became our first investment. As we read about Jhudy’s life and circumstances, excitement began to grow in the room. Jhudy was a real person with a real desire to make her life better and overcome poverty through entrepreneurship.

We followed the same process to fund the next seven loans and each time the kids would read about these people and become a bit more engaged in the process of investing. Once all of our initial monies were spent, several more loans became available. It was at this point that my sister-in-law announced, “Hey, Marsha. Here is a widow with a daughter from Tajikistan who is seeking a loan to invest in seeds and mineral fertilizer to improve the quality of her produce.” Well, she had me at “widow” and Begidjon Khairova became the first loan we were able to choose ourselves and the final loan of the evening. Funny thing was, everyone still had their laptops or iPhones out researching other loans on the site. Zack had created a “group” on Facebook and everyone had created personal accounts on Kiva.

You know, I don’t remember our family EVER being so engaged during any Christmas gift exchange in the past. Somehow opening presents wasn’t even missed and in the end we were able to say, “Merry Christmas Begidjon.” “Merry Christmas Norma.” “Merrry Christmas Riza.” “Merry Christmas Jhudy.” “Merry Christmas Cotzojay.” “Merry Christmas Mariela.” “Merry Christmas Sherali.” “Merry Christmas Olivia.” “Merry Christmas Zulma.” And a very Merry Christmas to our family who has always invested in each other, so it only seems natural to invest in others.

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Posted in Family, Holiday, Missions, Spiritual life

 

In Loving Memory…

05 Jul


Margaret “Mamaw” Ellen Abla went to be with her Lord Sunday July 5, 2009. She was loved passionately and will be greatly missed.

Here is the obituary for the newspaper. It is rather impersonal, but a more personal picture of “Mamaw” is forthcoming.

Margaret Ellen Abla, 89, left this world to be with her Lord Sunday the 5th of July, 2009 at Mckinley Court Nursing Home. “Mamaw’s” final days were spent surrounded by the family and friends whose lives she had touched in many ways.

Margaret was born in Lamar, Colorado to Ross and Maggie Curry, she was one of six children. In 1937, she married Glen Abla and began her life of ministry in the Church of the Nazarene. Following their retirement, Margaret made her home in Denver, Colorado. She moved to Decatur in 2003 where she was a joy to those fortunate enough to have shared her life.

She was a member of First Church of the Nazarene. Margie enjoyed family gatherings, shopping, discussing politics and Monical’s Pizza. Her love for the Lord was evident by her dedication to the ministry and her love for those around her. “Mamaw’s” smile often lit up a room, especially when sharing one of her many stories about her life as a pastor’s wife and evangelist.

A celebration of the life of Margaret Abla will be held at the Decatur First Church of the Nazarene 7:00pm Tuesday evening with visitation one hour before the service from 6-7.

“Mamaw” has left many memories to be treasured by her beloved children Edwin Abla, his wife Janice of Decatur, her daughter Sharon Miller and husband Bill of Parker, Colorado. Her memory will also be cherished by her grandchildren Marsha Cuttill-Price, Marc Abla, Evan Abla, Scott Miller, Lauren Miller, Lindsay Miller and Michael Miller along with her many loving great-grandchildren and friends.

The family appreciates your continued prayers and support. They request any memorials made in honor of Margaret Abla be contributed to Compassionate Ministries, Decatur First Church of the Nazarene.

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Posted in Family, Grief

 

Seriously?

23 Jun

My 13-year-old has a subscription to “Electronic Gaming Monthly”. It is one of few written materials he actually reads. So last week, he received the following in the mail:


For those of you squinting your eyes to read, it says:

“Welcome to Maxim!
This note is to inform you that Electronic Gaming Monthly has ceased publishing with the January 2009 issue. The balance of your paid subscription will be fulfilled with Maxim. If you are already a subscriber to Maxim, the balance of your Electronic Gaming Monthly subscription will be added to your existing Maxim subscription.”

Now, here is my take on this absurd replacement:
There are going to be millions of extremely happy adolescent boys, but on the other hand a million really ticked off parents. Mark me in the latter group. Seriously, is this an equal substitute for a gaming magazine?

Besides scantily clad women on almost every page, the articles in this magazine include: “The Drinking Man’s Guide to Summer”, “Fantasy Island”, “I Like to Punish People” and “The Sex Checklist: What bedroom taboos should you encourage your girl to break”. So, apparently the balance of my 13-year-old’s gaming magazine with be filled with the adolescent equivalent to soft porn.

For those of you wondering, of course I have crafted a written response to this absurdity stating my mind and demanding a refund, but why should I have to…why wasn’t there someone in the magazine’s marketing team intelligent enough to say “Know what guys—this is simply a bad idea.”. Seriously?

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Posted in Family, Life with a teenager

 
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